


As Long As You're Mine

by Crystal_Clear98



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 23:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14223768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystal_Clear98/pseuds/Crystal_Clear98
Summary: Narcissa is 13 when she falls in love with Lucius Malfoy. He’s pureblood perfection, she’s known him for years, they are after all in the same circles. Poor Cissy could never have guessed how much danger these circles would put them in. How could she comprehend her world crumbling around her, when everything seemed so perfect now?





	As Long As You're Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a friend of mine after years of not writing anything, thought I might share it with others since she enjoyed it. I've read other fics with a similar style and wanted to try it out myself. Title is the title of a song from Wicked.

Narcissa is 7 when she realises her sister is different. Their mother croons and calls it a faze but Bellatrix ~~likes~~ enjoys torturing little animals she finds in the gardens and her ~~accidental~~ magic lashes out when you least expect it, with a fury almost unparalleled. Almost.

But Bella promises Cissy that they are the only Proper Blacks left, they have to look after one another, through thick and thin. Cissy was never afraid of Bella.

Narcissa was afraid Bellatrix. Narcissa is 11 and finds it hard not to feel bitter when the hall erupts in jeers when she’s sorted into Slytherin. But she holds her head high and Bella looks proud at the other end of the table. Andromeda is a table away a world away and Narcissa hardly speaks to her anymore. ~~But Cissy misses her big sister who laughs like a pixie with eyes that light up and seem hold to whole the universe.~~

Narcissa is 13 when she falls in love with Lucius Malfoy. He’s pureblood perfection, she’s known him for years, they are after all in the same circles. He’s a year older than her and she’s sure he hasn’t noticed her. ~~She doesn’t see him smiling kindly when she’s practicing spells in the common room.~~ He knows more spells than he should, he listens with an intensity that burns and he has a calm, a stillness, that makes his movements unpredictable and unexpected. Narcissa wonders if that’s what makes him such a good seeker.

Narcissa is 13 when she decides she’s in love with Lucius Malfoy. ~~Cissy isn’t sure what love is.~~

Narcissa is 15 and overjoyed when her mother announces she will marry Lucius Malfoy when she turns 18. He takes it upon himself to escort her everywhere from that day on, a perfect gentleman. It’s in these stolen moments when its just the two of them that he admits he is afraid. There is a war on and his side was chosen the minute Abraxas Malfoy got a moving snake and skull tattoo in his early twenties. He believes in the cause, he does not doubt, but people are disappearing and people are dying. ~~Their Lord does not differentiate friend from foe~~.

Bellatrix doesn’t like him, she is fierce in the defence of her Dark Lord and thinks everyone but herself beneath him. They are all unworthy in Bellatrix’s eyes. ~~Cissy wonders what happened to her big sister Bella.~~

Narcissa is 16 when Lucius gets the dark mark ~~he is lucky he didn’t get it sooner~~. He holds his head up high and proud. Bellatrix mocks him, but she stands alone. He’s rising fast, or so she hears from others. He never boasts to her, but then she sometimes wonders whether or not he tells her everything about his life these days.

Narcissa sits him down at Christmas, away from the busybodies of the Parkinson Annual Christmas Party, and says only, “No more secrets.” There is an eternity in Lucius Malfoy’s eyes as he tells her about things neither of them ever wanted to see. Yet he has. He believes in the cause. But he knew some of these witches and wizards, they were half-bloods he had spoken to on occasion, he had helped one of them with his summoning charm a few years ago. She wonders what Lucius would give to summon the boy lost years, to summon himself better years. Narcissa has loved Lucius Malfoy since she was 13, but its only in this moment when they swear never to lie to one another that Cissy falls in love with a man whose eyes hold the universe.

Narcissa is married at 18, it’s a lavish affair and Cygnus Black spares no expense as the father of the bride, only the best for pureblood royalty. Narcissa is immensely pleased with everything and its what she always wanted. ~~Cissy thinks she would have been happy with a quiet, less garish ceremony and family dinner.~~

The morning after her wedding night she tells Lucius if he should ever seek another woman this is what he would be losing forever. Not that she doubts him, but she knows he doubts himself. Cissy doesn’t think he would ever even give another a sideways glance. She is right. The adoration and admiration in those stormy eyes of his speak a thousand words and never falters.

Narcissa is 21 and scared. She’s been married 3 years and there’s no sign of a pregnancy. She tries everything known to wizardkind. Maladies and potions, spells and enchantments. Shy of muggle remedies she does everything within her power. And nothing. Lucius is not worried. She doesn’t know how he remains so calm, so clear sighted. He holds her in his arms as she sobs into the night. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. Our son will come when he is ready not before. He has your stubborn streak.” Lucius whispers, eyes shining.

“My stubbornness?” “My love no-one is more stubborn than a Black.” Narcissa grudgingly accepts that, how can she not. It is all that will hold her together in a future she cannot even imagine.

“He has your eyes though.”

And that is how they spend the difficult years ahead, describing the son who was taking his time.

~~Cissy doesn’t want to bring a child into this warring world anyway.~~

Narcissa is 25 and a mother. She doesn’t know how but the boy in her arms is exactly as she and Lucius described him, with wisps of white blonde hair and fair skin. She does not doubt that when he opens his eyes they will be the storm blue-grey of his father’s. He is perfect, he is theirs, but Narcissa fears he will face the same life as his father and grandfather. The war has not been kind to anyone. Except maybe Bellatrix.

But Narcissa is alone with her son more often than not. The Dark Lord is demanding and Lucius is called away frequently. Bella came to see her nephew and showered him and Cissy with praise, had Narcissa closed her eyes she might have pictured better times, with both her sisters beside her cooing over the bundle in her arms. ~~She might even have imagined the 7 year old niece she had never met peering down at her baby cousin.~~

Bellatrix even admitted that Lucius had done well under the Dark Lords command during one visit, however much it pained her.

But Narcissa is scared, for her husband and her son.

She names her boy Draco for the dragon written in the stars, for he would have to be careful and cunning to survive this world. He would need to be just as much a Black as he would a Malfoy.

Narcissa is 26 when the Dark Lord falls and Lucius must use his quick mind to keep them afloat. Keeping himself from Azkaban and keeping them in their home. But Narcissa dares to wonder about the small boy who foiled every carefully laid plan the Dark Lord had ever set. That boy, who may have either damned her family or saved them. ~~Regulus was loyal. Regulus is gone.~~

~~Cissy pauses to imagine. What if they were us? She hadn’t known either Potter but she can conjure up an image of a young woman with hair like wildfire protecting her son to the last.~~

But Narcissa doesn’t let herself imagine herself in their place. Does not allow herself to imagine her Draco as an orphan with no remaining family.

~~Cissy wonders where Albus Dumbledore has sent the boy.~~

Narcissa is 36 when she sees her Draco onto the train to a place that will damn him for wearing green, she does not doubt where he will go. She has taught her son the pureblood mask, the pureblood lie. He wears it like armour as she does and she cannot help but hope that the armour never sees battle.

Narcissa and Lucius smile over their sons animated letters home, at least one a week. He tells them about a book he found in the Slytherin library on healing and it is the first of many. ~~Narcissa does not know that he will need those later~~.

By the end of the year they are a little fed up of hearing about Harry Potter and his friends. Lucius reminds his son that life isn’t fair and to rise above it and Narcissa agrees. ~~But Cissy wonders how Harry Potter got away with breaking a thousand rules in his first year and then how on earth Dumbledore let him get into so much danger.~~ She feels a pit in her stomach when she gets wind of the rumour that the Dark Lord was attempting to come back, but Lucius says they should ignore it, it wasn’t possible. But Narcissa holds him close that night, when old nightmares come a knocking.

Narcissa is 39 when her husband admits that the rumours of the Dark Lord have only grown stronger over the years, it is the first time that she cannot stand strong, that Cissy must take a seat and allow her fear to overtake her. If only for a moment. If He returns Lucius’s loyalty will be called into question, he could be killed. Her son, their baby boy could be killed. The Dark Lord will not care that Lucius was protecting his family all these years, he always ~~asked~~ demanded to be put first.

It never occurs to her to think about the danger she could be in.

Narcissa is barely 40 years old when her husband clenches his left fist and lets out a sound caught somewhere between pain and fear. Their eyes meet and there are no words to describe the cold dread that buries itself in her stomach. It will not leave for a very long time.

She alone goes to pick up her son from school at the end of the year, she sees the panic in Draco’s eyes when he cant see his father beside her, where he always is. She hates it, hates that he instinctively knows the danger they are in from here on out. But there is nothing she can do to protect him now.

~~Family dinners become so much more important when they are used to make sure you’re all still alive.~~

Narcissa is 40 and watching her Lucius struggle under the pressures piled upon him by the Dark Lord. A year of watching her husband begin to spiral because he’s getting no sleep these days. Their nightmares are reality now.

Narcissa is 41 when her husband is arrested and thrown in Azkaban. Reporters turn up at her door and try to interview her about her husband’s illegal activities and everything she has done to keep her family from falling apart have come to nothing.

~~Cissy cries herself to sleep every night, imagining what Lucius must be suffering and wishing he were beside her.~~

Then Draco is dragged into the war left arm first and Narcissa is wild with rage and will not be held back by anyone. Now it is survival for herself, her husband and her son before any Pureblood agenda. Did she care about muggles? No. Did she care how many people died in this war? So long as none of them were her family, no.

Narcissa Malfoy will raze cities and crush armies if anyone dares hurt her family.

Cissy Black will burn the world to the ground to protect her family.

And fuck anyone who tries to stop her.

Bella follows her into the house of a man she hates more than she hates Lucius, Severus Snape. There was real fear for her sister as she begged Cissy not to go to him. Cissy is not listening, Cissy no longer cares what happens to Bellatrix Lestrange. Bella Black is gone, Cissy mourned her big sister a long time ago.

Then Lucius is out and wandless and she starts maintaining a constant shield charm around him as well as herself and Draco when he’s home.

Lucius is incensed when he finds out about the impossible task set before their baby boy and they hold each other tight. Neither of them care about what side wins the war now, so long as they are together and alive. And Narcissa will pay whatever price she has to to get them there.

Narcissa is 42 when Draco both succeeds and fails, but they all suffer anyway and despite not wanting him anywhere near the Carrow’s Narcissa has no choice but to send her son back to Hogwarts. She plays along with the Dark Lord’s campaign against Harry Potter but secretly she places her hopes in the boy her son has come to hate, and she knows Draco has done the same.

The Dark Lord boasts that he knows the minds of all his followers and perhaps that’s true. But Narcissa has never followed anyone.

The Dark Lord claims he is the greatest Legilimens the world has ever seen and believes that Snape is the best Occlumens. Narcissa does not doubt Snape’s abilities.

But Narcissa has managed to hide a lifetime of fury from this Dark Lord and she does not doubt _her_ ability to stay under the radar.

At the age of 43 Narcissa witnesses war in all its ugliness. Hogwarts is burning and if she doesn’t find her son he might burn too.

She and Lucius are there in the forest when Harry Potter shows up at the final moment. Ready to die to save his friends. ~~He turned out like his mother after all.~~ The Dark Lord sends her to check if Potter lives and as she kneels down beside him she holds her breathe and prays for the first time in her life for a life that isn’t linked to her own. Because if this boy is truly gone there is no hope and the world will burn. As Hogwarts has tonight.

She sees him flinch as she touches his shoulder and she thanks the stars that she had the foresight to block most of his body from view when she got down.

“Is he alive? Is my son alive?” She doubts very much that Potter cares much for her son, they are polar opposites in every way. But if everything she has heard about The-Boy-Who-Lived is true then he will not lie to her, he will understand her in this moment and if he knows he will tell her.

He nods.

And Narcissa Malfoy, a woman Voldemort has hardly noticed all these years, lies directly to his face with qualms or worries about him seeing through her. Narcissa Malfoy knows her power and worth and Voldemort has made too many mistakes by her, beginning with underestimating her as a woman and then as mother whose son he had tried to steal and destroy.

Lucius is at her side and together they rush through the ranks calling for him. They do not care who wins, they do not care that Arthur Weasley, who prepared to fight them as they ran towards him, stares after them as they pass him, always calling. Desperately searching. They do not notice him stop one of his sons from launching a curse their way, they are too busy searching.

~~If this is the end then will go together.~~

Then it is all over and Voldemort is another dead body. She gives it a kick on her way past and catches eyes with Madam Pomfrey as she does. The old healer looks amused for a moment then it fades and looks pointedly at two other bodies.

Narcissa Malfoy had not met her niece but now she looked at Nymphadora and her husband Remus Lupin and wishes she knew more than their names. ~~They are gone just like Regulus and there are so many things Narcissa regrets that she would do differently now~~.

Life goes on, some of the old Slytherin prejudices fall away after the war and she receives a letter that only reads “Thank You”. She knows it is from Potter and knows he is the one keeping her family form the papers as much as he can. He thinks he owes her his life, Narcissa is sure he would have survived anyway, but she lets him think it whilst it benefits herself and her family.

Lucius will never work in the ministry again and her son’s future prospects are uncertain. But they are alive. They are together and nothing else matters.

Draco eventually begins an apprenticeship at St. Mungo’s and has taken an interest in Astoria Greengrass. Narcissa and Lucius take bets on who the children will take after.

Narcissa is 49 when she sees her son marry Astoria, the brides father pays for weddings and she half expects it to be same garish affair her own wedding was. But Astoria takes over control of the whole affair from her own mother and it turns out is more like Cissy then she thought and plans a simple, but nonetheless beautiful, ceremony and reception.

Narcissa watches her son and his new bride most of the evening and her heart swells whenever they look at one another.

“They are us.” She tells Lucius and they cannot be happier for the couple. Narcissa takes pity on Pansy Parkinson and gives the better looking Bulstrode cousin a push in her direction.

Narcissa is 51 when she holds her grandson in her arms for the first time. Scorpius Malfoy is the very image of his father and grandfather. After Draco and Astoria have taken their son home Narcissa collects on that bet she and Lucius made.

Lucius damns the dominant Malfoy genes for only a moment.

Narcissa Malfoy lives the rest of her life just as she had hoped she would. She sees Scorpius graduate Hogwarts and encourages his fascination with dragons, even when it leads to his odd friendship with Charlie Weasley who finds absolutely hilarious that this Malfoy has a significant vocal change when talking to dragons. Scorpius begins to work on a fire-repelling potion specifically for wizards who work with dragons, like Charlie.

Narcissa is 74 when Scorpius Malfoy decides to give his father and grandfather heart palpitations by marrying a halfblood. Cissy finds it sort of funny and has decided that so long as her grandson is happy she doesn’t care. She makes her peace with Andromeda and meets her great nephew Teddy who, much to Lucius chagrin and horror, delights in morphing his small baby face into Lucius’.

Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy spend the next 66 years in bliss, welcoming 3 great grandchildren who enjoy being spoilt rotten by both their grandparents and their great grandparents. Then, before either Cissy or Lucius know it, their great grandchildren have grown up and start having children of their own. The now elderly couple are overjoyed, and nothing makes them happier than spending time with the little ones. They become almost a babysitting service but they are in their 120’s when they actually count their great great grandchildren. 8. Lucius breaks out into a sweat when he stops to consider how many great great great grandchildren could be in their future, Cissy laughs for a full hour. Real from the belly, tear inducing, borderline painful, laughter.

Neither of them ever stop having nightmares about what happened all those years ago, what might have happened. When one of them wakes in a cold sweat, shivering and afraid, the other is always there to pull them close and whisper reassurances until they fall asleep in one anothers arms.

Narcissa is grateful Draco has Astoria to do the same for him. Although one of his grandchildren is starting a whole new department within St. Mungo’s that’s aimed towards those suffering from mental health issues that maybe he could benefit from. It is too late for Narcissa and husband who even now has never fully recovered and suddenly in his age began to show the frailty he had hidden as a younger man.

Lucius lives to see their first 8 great great great grandchildren born.

Narcissa is 140 years old when Lucius gets sick. Draco visits every day to check his condition for the first 2 months. They soon realise that this is not something they can cure. Lucius had a weakened heart, too much strain Narcissa knows, from those awful years. Only 3 of them. But they have robbed Lucius of at least 30 more. She nurses him through another year and refuses to leave his side until the end.

He lies in their bed, lungs rasping, heart struggling one morning, when they lock eyes and Narcissa feels her heart and stomach sink, her throat choke up, her eyes well, and she knows.

“Narcissa Malfoy you have made me the most honoured and luckiest man in this world. And I am going to miss you.”

Narcissa sobs as she curls into his side one last time, they hold each other tight and she tells him she loves him over and over.

She hums their wedding song and Lucius tries to hum along, but only manages a moment before hacking coughs rack his body. Cissy strokes his hair and holds onto him.

“Thank you for teaching me what love really is, for being mine to have and to hold. You have been my better half Lucius Malfoy and I am grateful for these years with you.”

She holds him till his chest stops rising and falling, till she feels him slip away till she feels her heart slip away and then she starts sending the owls.

Narcissa Malfoy lives to see her grandson grow up, lives to see her great grandchildren grow up, and then sees her great great grandchildren grow up. Narcissa Malfoy sees 15 of her great great great grandchildren born and with more on the way she remembers Lucius’ panic about how many great great great grandchildren they might someday have and finds it both sad and amusing that he never saw how many they now had. She goes along to see the first 4 of them off to Hogwarts.

Draco and Astoria move into the manor after Lucius dies, they don’t want her to be alone and she’s never alone, but oh is she lonely. After 120 years of marriage she cannot imagine waking up without Lucius, she cannot imagine him not being there when she wakes up from a nightmare that was once reality. She loves and appreciates her family’s efforts to keep her company and take care of her, and for a while its just enough and she carries on without him. ~~Without her heart.~~

Narcissa Malfoy is 150 years old when, surrounded by her family, holding Draco’s hand she says the goodbyes that Lucius didn’t get to. And then she’s ready to go to him. To go home.

“I’m ready to see him again. I’ve missed him so much.”

Draco is crying but he understands, and he won’t beg her to hold on, to stay longer. He won’t keep her from the other half of her heart.

As Narcissa drifts off one thought occurs to her suddenly.

Minerva McGonagall fucking outlived her.

And you know what?

She outlived Narcissa Malfoy by 135 years. Minerva McGonagall outlived Harry Potter and attended his funeral. Despite being saddened by his loss, she couldn’t help but think how ironic and redundant his title was now.

~~The-Boy-Who-Lived.~~


End file.
